Sunday, October 24, 2010

Woe ,Despair, agony on me.

I haven't posted for awhile, my arthritis pain and disability has been given me fits more so than not.  The pain seems worse in the Spring and the Fall, when the different seasons butt heads together. My hubby has been having a time with his back all year as well, he had injured the T5 and T6 vertebrae at work but they weasled out of workman comp and  he has a bulged disc that when it swells pinches on a cluster of nerves sending pain either to his chest or stomach. The specialist doesn't have much that they can do for him so we are waiting on a Pain Clinic appointment for next week for him.So he has been flat on his back about 10 days, we took the rest of his vacation so that we wouldn't have an interruption in his paycheck but that is it for us on any money coming in if we can't get back on the road soon. We were fixing to leave out on the road this morning ,already had a load of milk set up, although hubby is in no shape, nor I to go back on the road yet, but bills have to be paid, we have no other choices. But last night we get a call from his brother, it seems his mother who is in a Nursing Home suffering from Alzheimer's, has took a turn for the worse , they had to put her in a wheel chair because she kept falling and leaning to much,they thought maybe she had a stroke, then while in the wheel chair she fell forwards and landed head first on the floor and got a bump on her head so they sent her to the hospital, they did a CT scan and all come back ok. Hubby called  his dispatcher to cancel his load, they sent her back to the Nursing Home later on in the night, and we went to see her today. My  my she has really gone down hill since the last time we had seen her, which I am ashamed to say has been about a month and a half ago, with our pain and when we were driving we were only getting 34 hours off at home which just isn't enough time to get the work done around the house and heal up a bit from the road. His mother is totally lost to us and the world and this disease has been so fast in taking her from us. Her oldest sister suffers from this and it has been a long drawn out process with her, she lies in a bed and is totally lost to the world but she has had this for over 10 years. I think my mom in law from being diagnosed to now it had been only 5 years. I am glad though, I wish the Lord would take her now, I know that sounds terrible, but she is no longer my hubby's mom, it is her body, but who ever has taken over her mind it sure is no longer his mother. They call Alzheimer's the slow death and indeed it is. I know when and if she gets a second or so of sanity that she is in torture because she for a short span every now an again cries out in anguish over her losses. She no longer knows us, no longer can feed herself, or dress herself, or knows when to go to the toilet. She is total care. And to think she was driving and working as a home health aide about 5 and half years ago.
So we are going through the wringer now, so if anyone is reading this we need your prayers, for health , for money to pay bills, for new job off the road for hubby, for my disability Social Security to finally go through and for a quick and painless end for my mother n law who would be better off with the LORD.
blessings to ya